Kisuke dismounted with a groan, pleased that they were done moving for the day; he was used to being the one setting the pace, not being the one having to keep pace, and he definitely felt the difference. He’d have liked more opportunities to take notes about the handful of battles they couldn’t avoid, but… at least he’d managed to get something written down.

Now he just needed to set up his tent so he could start to organize his notes—

His hand met air where he expected to find his tent, and he cast a confused glance up at his saddle where everything was tied. His bedroll and his personal bag were there, as was the bag of journey supplies like gels and medicine bottles, but… no tent.

(Did Tessai… forget?)

(Oh dear…)

Fingers brushed against the back of his elbow, drawing his mind away from his current puzzle and alerting him to Erich’s approach. He cast a puzzled look at Erich, then nodded up at his supplies, asking, “My tent?”

“Not sure why Tsukabishi didn’t pack it, but you can share with Lexi and I,” Erich answered as he reached up to start untying Kisuke’s supplies.

Kisuke frowned as he took his personal bag when Erich handed it to him, mind whirling as he remembered— “You saw it wasn’t there when we left.”

Erich shrugged and shouldered the other two bags. “I figured he didn’t think it was important, given our, ah… relationship. I packed mine if you’re uncomfortable with—”

“N-no, no, it’s fine,” Kisuke hastily reassured, swallowing back his nerves; they’d shared tents before — shared bedrolls before too, in colder times than this — so he shouldn’t be feeling nervous. It was fine. Nothing unusual about it at all. Just another day, another adventure—

Erich’s hand settled on his arm, strong-warm-calloused fingers pressing just slightly into his skin, grounding him in the present. “Kisuke?”

“Maa, maa, I’m fine, I’m fine. Just thinking, sorry.” Kisuke flashed his best smile and let Erich lead him away, leaving his horse in the capable hands of one of Alexis’ party members. Normally he’d at least brush the beast down himself, but… he wasn’t… he didn’t… his mind was a tangle of research and confusion and he just wanted to rest.

“Thinking about?” Erich prompted as he led him past the small fire pit, where Briar was kneeling and stacking wood to start a fire, and towards one of the tents that had already been raised.

Kisuke considered his answer for a moment, then shoved aside his tangled emotions and said, “The monsters and their ability to fight and use abilities. Now that we have no blastia cores to help us channel aer, we’re… we’re just human now. Our cities are undefended without the barrier blastia, our fighters are greatly weakened without their bodhi blastia, trade has all but dried up without the ceres blastia to empower ships…” He huffed and ran a hand through his hair, gaze fixed on the ground as they kept walking. “The only reason deaths haven’t gone up dramatically is because we can still synthesize gels and life bottles. Without those…”

Erich hummed thoughtfully as he brushed aside the tent flap and tugged Kisuke inside. “You think there’s something in how the monsters fight that we can use?” he asked as he dropped Kisuke’s bags and then knelt to arrange Kisuke’s bedroll next to his own. “They don’t produce apatheia though, so there’s nothing we can use to create a blastia core.”

“I don’t… think we can rely on blastia anymore,” Kisuke admitted softly, then grimaced when Erich cast him a worried-concerned-uneasy look. “The amount of aer available has diminished, according to Benihime, and something else is starting to take its place. I think… I think if I can figure out how to harness that instead…”

“I guess when the only other option is figuring out how to create a blastia core without an apatheia…” Erich sighed and sat back on his heels, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I wish we’d had more time,” he grumbled, then shook his head. “Well, no use crying over spilled milk. We’ll just have to find a way.”

Kisuke couldn’t resist a smile at Erich’s determination; it was one of the things he admired about the man, how he could just… push onward without flagging, no matter the odds. “We’ll find a way,” he agreed as he dropped his pack on his bedroll and then sat down on the edge of it and began unlacing his boots. “On the plus side, as the available aer continues to diminish, the monsters will continue to weaken.”

“Do you think it will entirely vanish?” Erich asked as he sat next to Kisuke and began to take off his own boots. “If that happens…”

“No, no, I don’t think so,” Kisuke reassured as he folded his legs beneath him and leaned back to pull his notebook from his pack. He flipped it open and starting skimming through the pages, looking for a specific entry. “Ah, here, look. I’ve been trying to measure the available aer, though it’s harder now without a proper blastia. Levels have been decreasing still, but it’s already starting to slow down. Another week and I estimate that the change will… uhm, the change will…” He trailed off, staring down at the back of Erich’s head as the man leaned across his lap to get a closer look at his notebook.

(He wanted to… he wanted to touch…)

(Erich’s hair looked so soft!)

“Is something wrong?” Erich asked in concern as he straightened up, body still pressed warm-solid-familiar against Kisuke’s side.

“Ahahaha, no, no, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” Kisuke said hastily, flashing another smile at Erich—

Only for Erich to frown and pull away. “I wish you would tell me what I’ve done,” he murmured, gaze sweeping over Kisuke as he did. When Kisuke just frowned back, confusion rising, Erich continued with, “To make you uncomfortable, I mean. That’s the third time today you’ve masked your actual reaction. You don’t usually… I… I can’t change how I act if I don’t know what to change, Kisuke. So, please…”

“I’m not uncomfortable!” Kisuke protested immediately, only to grimace when Erich gave him a skeptical look. “I’m not,” he repeated, then hesitated, trying to gather his courage to admit… admit what? That he suddenly couldn’t ignore his reactions to Erich as well as usual? That a single day into faking a relationship and all he wanted to do was take advantage of this opportunity before it was taken from him? That all he wanted to do was bask in the pretense of Erich loving him?

He swallowed and looked away, fidgeting with his notebook as he tried to find an answer that wouldn’t disgust Erich. He needed to remember that this wasn’t real, that Erich didn’t care for him like that, that everything they did was an act—

Erich’s fingers brushed tentatively against his arm, then settled in place when Kisuke didn’t move to pull away. The touch was just as grounding, just as familiar, as always, and Kisuke heaved a sigh as his mind automatically focused on the point of contact.

“Take a deep breath, that’s it,” Erich murmured calmly, his thumb smoothing across Kisuke’s arm. “Too many words in your head?”

“Something like that,” Kisuke said wryly, then reached up to rub at the back of his neck with his free hand. “I… you aren’t making me uncomfortable,” he began, picking his words carefully. “Neither are your actions. It’s… it’s fine. I don’t mind any of it.” He hesitated, dithering over how much to say, how much to reveal, even as Erich waited patiently for him to continue. “I just… don’t know how to respond. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, or… or mess up somehow.”

“You don’t—” Erich cut himself off with a frown, then cautiously asked, “Kisuke, have you ever been in a relationship before?” When Kisuke just shook his head, Erich’s frown deepened and he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Kisuke gave Erich a confused look. “Sorry for what? I just told you—”

“Your first relationship shouldn’t be some sort of sham,” Erich hissed like an offended cat. “It’s not fair to you, and I’m sorry we put you in this position—”

“If you’ll recall, I was the one who suggested this,” Kisuke snapped back, ignoring the way his stomach squirmed at Erich’s words. “I’ve never been interested in relationships anyway—” at least not until he got to know Erich, but Erich didn’t need to know that— “so it’s fine!”

Erich stared at him, eyes narrowed and gaze hard, as if trying to pry the truth from the depths of his mind. “The more you say ‘it’s fine’, the less I believe you,” he said with a hint of resigned amusement, then shook his head and slowly moved so he was pressed lightly against Kisuke’s side again. “Is there a reason this made you react like that? We’ve sat like this before, during some of our research outings.”

“Ah… not… this precisely,” Kisuke said hesitantly, then pursed his lips and looked away. “I was reminded of this morning,” he settled on, the half-truth rolling easily off his tongue. “Sorry, I’ll try to be less obvious— hey!”

“None of that. People will accept us being awkward in public for a while, since we’ve supposedly hidden this for years,” Erich said as he poked Kisuke’s side a second time. “The trick is going to be settling into a routine that isn’t awkward, before they catch on to the true reason we’re acting like that. Was there something you wanted to do this morning, when I kissed your hand?”

“Promise you won’t be mad?” Kisuke asked half-jokingly, then turned towards Erich and lifted a hand to cup the man’s chin before he could react. He brushed his thumb over Erich’s cheek, then slid his hand around to cradle the back of Erich’s neck, reveling in the velvet-soft texture of Erich’s undercut and the silken brush of hair against the back of his hand.

(It felt just like he remembered from those rare times they shared a bed.)

(He never thought he’d be allowed to do this—)

Erich froze, gaze darting from Kisuke’s arm to his face, then slowly relaxed when Kisuke didn’t do anything but run his fingers through Erich’s hair. “I don’t have a problem with this,” he admitted, tipping his chin to press it against Kisuke’s arm. “If this is something you’d like to do as reciprocation, go ahead. Just remember—”

“I won’t try to do this to Alexis,” Kisuke promised, remembering what she’d said about her boundaries. “Just like I won’t try to kiss you.”

A tiny, true smile curled the corners of Erich’s lips, and he tipped his head a bit more to brush an almost-kiss against Kisuke’s inner arm. The gesture made the breath catch in Kisuke’s throat and his stomach squirm with want, even as he forced himself to remember that it didn’t mean anything.

(It didn’t.)

(It didn’t.)

(No matter how much he wanted it to.)

“Thank you, Kisuke,” Erich murmured, his breath warm against Kisuke’s skin. “For listening to us, and for putting yourself on the line like this. I truly appreciate it.”

“You’re a valued member of my guild,” Kisuke deflected airily as he withdrew his hand, already missing the warmth of Erich’s breath and the softness of his hair, and already planning to take advantage of any opportunity to touch that arose. So long as he didn’t overstep himself… it should be fine, shouldn’t it? “It’s the least I could do.”

Erich cast him a dry look at that. “Is that so.”

“Well, you already turned down my offer to clear the way, so what else was I supposed to do?” Kisuke asked with an exaggerated pout. Not that he’d ever expected Erich to allow him to assassinate anyone; it just wasn’t Erich’s way, no matter how convenient it could be.

“So marrying was the only other option you could come up with? Really?”

Kisuke shrugged, grinned, and said, “The only other option I thought you’d accept.”

Not that he’d tried very hard to come up with anything, not when he knew Erich had already considered it.

(Not when he knew that it was the only way he’d get even a taste of what he longed for.)

Erich snorted and shook his head. “Menace,” he mumbled without heat, then leaned in again to snatch Kisuke’s notebook from his lap. “Enough. Talk me through this and what you’re thinking about doing,” he said as he began to read what Kisuke had written down.

Kisuke watched him for a moment, drinking in the sight of Erich pouring over Kisuke’s research with clear interest. He quashed the urge to reach out. Cleared his throat. Gathered his thoughts and said, “Of course, of course. As I was saying, another week and the change should stabilize. The trick is going to be identifying the new power that’s partially taking its place. We can’t do anything until we know what it is or how to access it.”

(It would be hard, but he knew he could do it.)

(And in the meantime, he’d enjoy this moment while it lasted.)

(After all, who knew how long this charade would last?)