Sasaki Uryuu wanted desperately to find whatever kami had cursed him as a child, and preferably skewer it on his bankai. The sheer absurdity of his life was becoming droll; it wasn’t enough that he was sent to a time before his father was even a dream, but now he had to be sent into an alternate reality where apparently Urahara Kisuke of all people had adopted him?

But instead of giving in to a (completely justified) fit of temper, Uryuu tamped it back, made dark promises of Revenge against Gin and Rangiku, and concentrated on navigating his way out of the Soul King’s palace. The feeling of three (young and barely trained) reiatsu signatures at his back was nostalgic; it was almost like leading his brats again, before they decided to become Shinigami.

“Why did you change your name?” Ishida Uryuu asked.

Uryuu shrugged. “Ishida is a Quincy name, and I did not want to tempt fate any more than I already was.” Or Kurotsuchi. Or Urahara. Or the Shinigami in general. Really, being an active Quincy was the opposite of a good idea in the time he had found himself in.

His alternate self cleared his throat, and hesitantly asked, “How… why… uhm. A Captain?”

He couldn’t help but laugh at the disbelief in the other’s voice. “Not precisely my choice. But apparently, when there are vacancies amongst the Captains, showing that you have a bankai and know how to use it is as good as volunteering yourself for the position.”

“It is?!” Kurosaki squawked, a betrayed sound in his voice. “Kaito! Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Because it’s not relevant to us!” his alternate — Kaito? Seriously? Uryuu was going to need to do some digging in this world if he was stuck here long enough, to make sure the Kaito he knew didn’t exist — protested. “You’re still a living Human, and I’ve pretty dramatically declared myself neutral thanks to father! Besides, those stupid vizard went back to Seireitei and took up all those empty posts anyway, so there!”

“Vizard?” Uryuu asked, frowning thoughtfully.

(*Something to do with Aizen, I think,*) Ichigo supplied with a mental shrug. (*I don’t really remember.*)

“You… don’t remember the vizard?” Kaito sounded surprised, and when Uryuu turned to glance at him the boy had his eyebrows drawn together in a frown. “The people who taught our Ichigo to suppress and be afraid of Shiro? The people Aizen Hollowfied and father had to save?”

Uryuu shrugged and gave the boy another wry smile. “It has been about a century, and these… vizard don’t exist in my reality. Aizen died before he could accomplish very much.”

“A century?!”

“Give or take a few years?” Uryuu continued, turning back to the route out and continuing his steps. “I lost track some time back, as there was not much use to tracking time after a certain point.” The teens fell into a stunned silence at his words, and started to lag behind his steady strides as they tried to process the information he’d given them. Uryuu couldn’t really say he was surprised — in their situation, he would have been full of disbelief as well — and so simply eased his strides to be more akin to Kyoraku-ji-san’s lazy amble. Whether or not the teens recognized the pace, it did allow them to better keep up with him.

The sunlight was bright when they emerged from the palace, and Uryuu shaded his eyes with a hand as he ambled down the stairs to where the collection of wounded Shinigami were waiting. There were familiar and unfamiliar faces amongst the crowd; more teens he thought he vaguely recalled, some Hollows he also vaguely recalled — and one he absolutely remembered with a shocking clarity — and a number of very familiar Shinigami.

Heads came up as they walked down the stairs, and the man that Uryuu only belatedly recognized as Urahara practically lit up at the sight of them.

“Kaito!” Urahara sprang to his feet and hurried over, brushing past Uryuu after only the briefest of sharp-eyed examinations. He fluttered around Kaito, the bright green of healing kido sparking from his fingers as he checked the other for wounds. “I take it everything went well? It’s over?”

“Of course it is, father,” Kaito replied with a tone of long-suffering acceptance that Uryuu recognized from his own brats. “We took care of Yhwach. He’s dead, and gone, and the Soul King is handled too.”

“Are any of you hurt? Do you need anything?”

Uryuu stared at the sight for a moment, unable to process what he was seeing. That was… what in the world was that?

(*I have never seen Urahara act like that in my life,*) Ichigo admitted, shocked.

Shiro made a noise of disgust, (*C’mon, let’s go over t’the folk that actually make fuckin’ sense. What the hell. He’s fuckin’ cooin’ at those brats. He’s like you but worse, Koneko!*)

Uryuu choked on his breath, stared at the interaction between Urahara and Kaito for a moment longer in shock, then shook his head and determinedly turned away to amble over to the Shinigami contingent. To his relief, all three of his favorite Captains were around, though Ukitake-ji-san looked a bit worse for wear, and Unohana-ba-san was giving him her passive-aggressive ‘stay in bed or I’ll make you’ smile. So… all in all, a comfortingly familiar sight.

“And you would be?” Kyoraku-ji-san asked, a friendly smile on his face and his gaze razor sharp behind the veil of politeness.

“Sasaki Uryuu,” he replied, tone about as gentle as Ukitake-ji-san’s at his most dangerous. He was still learning to properly blunt himself, but over five decades of mimicry made him quite convincing to everyone not intimately familiar with Ukitake’s ways. “Captain of the Third Division, and a visitor from an alternate universe. I believe something Yhwach did in both of our realities temporarily blurred the boundaries between us, and I managed to step through by accident.”

At his words, or possibly his tone, both Ukitake-ji-san and Unohana-ba-san looked over at him, and Ukitake’s expression took on a puzzled cast as the man examined Uryuu. Unohana gave Uryuu her best politely threatening smile, but continued to heal Ukitake instead of standing.

Uryuu wasn’t fooled. All three were suspicious, and curious, and clearly putting together a collection of clues gleaned from everything he said and did. He didn’t doubt that they’d know his relationship with their alternates in a few minutes, if they didn’t suspect it already.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Sasaki Uryuu,” Ukitake-ji-san said. “Perhaps one of us can offer you a place to rest while we try to return you to your universe?”

Uryuu smiled and inclined his head. “I thank you for the kind offer. So long as I am not putting any of you out, I would appreciate having a place.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” Ukitake replied. “The Ugendo has more than enough space, if you do not mind my presence?”

“Not at all, I accept your offer happily.” It was, of course, a way to keep an eye on him, but also a tentative acceptance of who he was and what they suspected of him. Ukitake was clearly injured, and had the gentlest facade of the three Captains; if Uryuu didn’t know them very well, and was here with dark intent in his heart… well, he was under no illusion that he could take Ukitake easily, even injured as the man was.

Besides, it would be nice to be on mostly familiar ground.

Uryuu cast a glance back at Urahara and the teens, who were chattering away at one another with an ease that Uryuu had never shared with the mad scientist, and fought back a grimace.

Familiar ground was going to be a blessing in this universe, he suspected.